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DAVID FASGOLD - First Chair Lead Guitar and Vocals. David has a cool name. "Fasgold" What else needs said? David is a newspaper editor for a small town paper, The Gyp Hill Premiere, he's a car enthusiast, dirtbike rider, video gamer, cat lover,  husband to Tonya "Yoko" Fasgold and father to Benjamin David Fasgold. David is a Pink Floyd fan to the core. David dreams songs and can sing them the next day. Fun Fact: David has webbed toes. his page

KEVIN NOLAND - First Chair Lead Bass Player and Vocals. Kevin is the publisher and owner of the paper where David works. He's been known to be extremely hard to work for, sometimes making David get him Vanilla Cokes at the spur of the moment. Kevin is married to Ronda (17 years now) and has three kids: Breeann, Joey and Nicholas ( or as we call him "Mr. 21 Questions"  ). Kevin enjoys SCUBA diving, jetskis and assault rifles. Fun Fact: Kevin can play the Star Spangled Banner in his armpit. his page

JUSTIN RUGG - First Chair Lead Drummer, Percussion, Vocals and Girl in the Band. Justin is a deputy for the Barber County Sheriff's Department who gives speeding tickets without discrimination. Justin is married to Dooli and has two kids: Emily and Logan. It was once said that Justin could ramp a Wonder Bread truck like nobody's business. Justin lives in the HUGE town of Hazelton, KS. It's like Venice Point - Population 86, but smaller. Justin likes hunting, fishing and cowtipping. Fun Fact: Justin cut off parts of a couple of fingers with a meat saw. his page

What's in a name?

Do you ever wonder about the origins of slang words we use? I sure do. I wonder about the guy who invented words and phrases such as "idiot," "barf" and "bling-bling."

Iíve always wondered how a word gets used and spread, until everybody knows it. Because of this curiosity, Iíve always wanted to come up with a new word to promote.

In the spring of 1999, I finally found that word.

It was around one oíclock in the afternoon, and I was in the kitchen trying to decide what to have for breakfast. My roommate, a very unusual character, ran downstairs and through the kitchen on his way to work.

He was known in my circle of friends for having quite an imagination, and had a bizarre habit of making up stupid names to call everybody.

As he ran past, I said, "Good morning, Bryan."

"Shut up, dorfus crack tractor," was his only reply. And then he was gone.

Dorfus crack tractor. Interesting, and very funny. It made me laugh; I had found my "word."

I began thinking about how the word (actually a phrase) should be properly spelled and used.

The first part, "dorfus," made perfect sense. It was a combination of "dork" and "dufus."

The second part, "crack," could have several origins and uses. Here are some examples:

1) He is a crackpot.

2) She is a crackerjack fighter pilot.

3) The President must be on crack.

The third part of the word, "tractor," really made no sense, but it sounded good with rest of the word. I decided that "crack" and "tractor" should be combined, but not hyphenated. The "T" should always remain capitalized. Thus, the final proper spelling: Dorfus CrackTractor.

Say the word out loud. Funny, isnít it? Now try it on a friend.

The term can be used in several ways. First and foremost, it is a mildly affectionate insult to refer to oneís friends.

For example, my "boss" and good friend, Kevin Noland, is a real Dorfus CrackTractor, and I remind him every chance I get.

Remember, the full term "Dorfus CrackTractor" must be used as a noun only. However, "cracktractor"by itself may also be used as an adjective, meaning "all messed up." Examples:

1) She had a really cracktractor day.

2) We thought the war museum would be cool, but the whole thing was cracktractor.

It may also be used as a verb. Example: The cat stepped on the keyboard, and now the computer is cracktractored.

CrackTractor may also stand alone as a noun. Example: My boss is such a CrackTractor.

The word is spreading, and there are confirmend uses of the phrase Dorfus CrackTractor in California, Kansas, Oklahoma, South Carolina and Texas thanks to me and Kevin.

In Kansas alone, the phrase has been spread in Kansas City, Medicine Lodge, Salina and Wichita. There is even one confirmed case of a teacher calling a student by the name.

Kevin and I have even decided to name our brand new rock band after the phrase.

- Dave Fasgold

110 N. Main - P.O. Box 127
Medicine Lodge, KS 67104

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