The first Silicone based robot drummer. Not as sexy as Roxy, but a lot more fun to hang out with. Even missing a finger, Justin can still twirl his sticks.
Justin's Finger Story...
was a night just like any other night. The air was cold, and you could see
your breath as you exhaled. I was standing next to a man who smelled of
urine and I was not for sure why. I did not know his name. I think his
name was Henry but it could have been Sam. We talked about shoestring
potatoes and the meaning of the word dog. The urine smell was now stuck in
my mucus membrane, and did not know why. I heard a sound from the jungle,
was it a monkey typing, or could it be the other men we were fighting.
I raised my musket and got ready, for I was a sniper for the U.S. ARMY. My
commanding officer, George Washington, Had told me I was the one that
could win the war.
At about the time I went to pull the trigger, I felt a strange feeling in
my stomach. Was it gas, or could the enemy be behind me? I was thinking
gas, for I had eaten three helpings of baked beans the day before. I was
wrong. The enemy was there and they were not happy. They took me hostage
and lead me back to their camp. When we arrived I was blind folded
with my hands tied behind my back. I thought to myself that maybe this is
a surprise birthday party for me? No! It could not be. I knew that because
no one said surprise or sang to me as they took the blind fold off. I was
a P O W. They took me to a room which looked alot like a motel 6 lobby.
They set me in a chair and held my hand out. They talked as if they were
from Medicine Lodge? I did not know. My trigger finger was now in the
hands of a man who had mustard in the corner of his mouth. Was
he going to eat my trigger finger? Or was the mustard from a corn dog he
ha d earlier that day. I once again did not why crazy thoughts were
running through my head.
He reached for a dull butter knife and started cutting on my trigger
finger. It felt good at first, but the pain was setting in. I screamed at
the top of my lungs. I begged they hurry. When they asked why i told them
DorfuscrackTractor needed a drummer and the money i was going to get
from losing a finger would buy the drum kit i had been looking at. They
all laughed loudly and told me i was crazy. But who is laughing now? Me. I
am the one laughing, as i am now the drummer for the best band in Barber
That is the story of how i lost part of my index finger. For more information contact me at DorfuscrackTractor.com
The Finger Story... Part Deux..
tour of Europe, I was put in a position I never want to be in again. I
was on tour with two of my very good friends, I thought. Not only
friends, they were also my band mates. You see this is the story of how
part of my index finger was taken from me.
It was a day of sunshine and birds singing. We were on the road and having
a great time. Our tour had just kicked off and we were making a retarded
amount of money. At least it was to us. The night was closing in and it
was time to start getting ready for bed. We did not have a big fancy tour
bus, just an old fifth wheel pulled behind a pickup. Our driver, M.T.
Main, was one of the best drivers in Europe at that time. We should of
known something was up when we hired him from the "Drivers' R
Us" web site.
M.T. was pulling our home on the road with a 1982 Ford F150. It was multi
colored and had no hood. We pulled in to the "Beers R Us" store
so M.T. could get something to drink before we left out on our journey to
our next show. At the time we stopped, Kevin and Dave asked me if I would
sleep on the top bunk that night. I told them I had a very big fear of
doing that, for that is how Cliff from Metallica was tragically killed.
They said, and I quote, "come on dude it will be just like riding a
roller coaster at Joyland". Again I should of known bad things were
going to happen, because the roller coaster at Joyland sucks and is a
death trap!! Against my better judgment I crawled up to the top bunk and
fell into a deep sleep.
I could tell the road was bumpy as my head kept hitting the top of the
fifthwheel. I could her Kevin and Dave laughing every time my head would
hit. I thought they were asleep too , but they were not. Those two stayed
up just to watch me suffer. Again good friends, I thought! The next thing
that happened changed my life forever.
The screaming tires, the busting glass, that was the sounds I heard last. Ok
I stole that line from a song but oh well. So the story continues. I felt
myself being bounced around like a rag doll. You would of thought I would
have woke up but I did not. I was asleep like a bear in hibernation. I
could hear the other guys yell as our camper raced down the road. You see
when we stopped at the "Beers R Us" store, M.T. thought it would
be funny to loosen up the trailer hitch for a more bumpy ride. What he did
not know is that when we hit the dip in the road the trailer would come
So there we were being pulled by nothing more than gravity down the
mountain. Our pimped out fifth wheel hit a moose and flipped over 17 and 1
half times. M.T. did not even noticed we had came unhooked. When we came
to rest, my hand was out side the camper lying on the ground. I could feel
blood running down my arm and I started to panic. Kevin and Dave were
standing outside looking at my hand and laughing. I asked them why they
were laughing and they told me that a squirrel was sitting over in the
tree eating on part of my finger. I asked them why they thought that was
so funny and they replied "Hey Justin, What was your favorite part
about that?" I laid there bleeding and in pain but started to laugh
and answered," It had to be the part were I thought the squirrel was
tame and would not bite my finger off!"
So I guess the moral of this story is this... With friends like Kevin and Dave, Who needs to think about being in another band other then DorfuscrackTractor!!!!!
110 N. Main - P.O. Box 127
Medicine Lodge, KS 67104
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